Topic: Maintaining professional boundries with residents

I am working at a new community (the staff was already in place when I started) and I am very caught off guard by what I believe to be a lack of professional boundaries with residents, or should I say, maintaining semi-personal relationships with residents. Some of my concerns include:

-Being Facebook friends with residents
-Having personal conversations with residents in excess of 10 minutes (we want to be personable, but not disclose our entire lives!)
-Having a resident pick up something for you at the store (whoa!)
-Telling a resident that his pre-teen son is "Just as handsome as he is"

In discussing this with the a staff member, they completely disagreed with my observations regarding their lack of professional boundaries and stated that they are being friendly and personable.

I've searched high and low on the internet and even in the employee manual and everywhere mentions the importance of keeping professional boundaries but no where does it define or give examples of what could be deemed inappropriate.

Am I just modest? Has anyone else experienced this or dealt with a similar situations? Any examples and insight as to your thoughts or experiences would be most helpful.

My first thought is: it depends on your team's ages, the company culture in place when you arrived, occupancy and renewals. For example, in The South, it is not unusual to have 10-minute long conversations with people or to say, "just as handsome as he is" - even to a stranger on the street. It is also not unusual for someone who is a bit older to say this as well to someone very much younger!

In the Student Housing industry it is not unusual for Grad Students to ask to you to accept their invitation to connect on LinkedIn. I would discourage this practice while the resident is an actual Resident and this could apply to Facebook connections except as "friends" to the property page. You want that.

I am a stickler in keeping professional with residents but I can tell you that sometimes, I know more about our Residents than a therapist! But that doesn't mean I share MY INFO with the Residents! That is the difference - knowing what is acceptable to share. I think it is nice if you have children that stories about your own kids might be fun to share, etc. but telling your Resident you don't get paid enough or are having financial difficulties is not appropriate.

I would talk to your Regional Manager and ask some advice from upper management. It may depend on what part of the country you are located, etc.

Having a community that is comfortable with your office is team is great, but being too friendly can lead to bigger issues or even law suits.
Facebook - This tool can be a great resource for complexes. Being 'friends' with a tenant is really up to each individual, but they should be warned of the negative possibilities. Although you can put restrictions on what people see, it is simply not a good idea.
Personal Conversations - Huge no no! Midy is right in saying that some stories are cute and fun to share, but telling tenants about personal issues can lead to trouble. I have witnessed tenants use personal information against staff, and it is just awful.
Running errands - No one but the office staff should do office tasks. Period.
Flirting - Adults are free to have adult conversations, but not while they are on the clock. If an employee wishes to develop a personal relationship with a tenant they should do so on their own time. This is risky and could end badly, but each case is different.
Remember, the management is responsible for anything that could be considered sexual harassment.
Mindy is correct in saying that residents will share their lives with you, but that doesn't mean you have to share equally. Approach every conversation with caution.