This has been an extraordinary year for me both personally and professionally. 2010 not only marked our company’s 10^th Anniversary in January, but my husband Peter and I are celebrating our 30^th wedding Anniversary this month. Yes, I know…I can hardly believe it either!

I have spent half my life with this man, and he has had a significant impact on the quality of my life and a huge part of the reason why I am as blessed and as successful as I am today. Many people ask us what the “secret” is to having that longevity of our relationship, and it’s funny that Peter is always the first one to speak up to answer that question.

Most people might say such things as trust, love, respect, a good sense of humor, understanding, cooperation, compatible ethics, or compromise, which of course, ARE all very important aspects of any good relationship. But Peter always says that the real key to any relationship is having an open line of communication and listening to each other, something we both agree as being the top ingredient.

Our life has been a “partnership” from the very beginning. Believe me, over the years it hasn’t been a ‘cake walk” by any stretch; dealing with a “blended family, exes, in laws, outlaws” and all the challenges that that alone brings, not to mention having extremely strong willed children with their “own” opinions of life in the heart of every aspect of our lives, our communication efforts get stretched and tested every day! One wrong word or phrase said at a time when the other person “isn’t particularly happy at that moment”, can mean weeks of anger, withdrawal, and bitterness, that takes weeks, months and in some cases “years” to overcome and mend. I’m sure you all know what I am talking about…that continual “roller coaster of emotions” looming over and affecting every aspect of your life!

 It’s interesting how so many people underestimate the power of just “talking and communicating” in ANY relationship, whether personal with a spouse or “significant other”, your children, your family members, neighbors, those in line at the store, or in business with those whom you work and with your clients and customers.

Peter and I are constantly testing our “good communication” theory in everyday events by examining how our own family communicates, how our friends communicate, how total strangers communicate with each other, how service staff, in general, communicate with their customers, and most recently, with those we met along our way on our trip to Atlantis in Nassau, Bahamas.

One would think that being in the Bahamas, a place where you go to unwind and relax, have those adult beverages with little colorful umbrellas in them while lying on beautiful white sands listening to the waves crashing on shore and the sound of those steel drums softly playing in the distance, that customer service would be impeccable! Well think again! People are still people even in paradise! We had a couple of encounters of “I’m just doing a job…” attitudes….in the airport (of course!) and in a couple of shops, not bad, but not happy either.

What I forgot was that it was “I” who was in the lap of luxury and relaxing while “others” were still in their work mode! For the most part, people treated us very well, with beautiful smiles, and pleasant remarks, and genuine happy attitudes. I loved the limo driver who told us… “Don’t be mad at me because you are just visiting and I get to live here every day in paradise!”

Even the sales people (those selling handmade jewelry or personal services like hair braiding) working along the beach each day, had terrific “intro lines”….such as….“Good morning beautiful lady! Let me adorn you with some of my hand made Island jewelry “or “Hello pretty lady, you look gorgeous today! How may I be of service to you?”or “Please let me know what I may do for you…it is my pleasure to serve you.”

WOW! I knew flattery works, but it was more than just the words they said, albeit very good words; it was more about “how they said it and their happy personalities, and the genuineness behind the words” that really appealed to me. After all it was their only means of making a living…their “livelihood The work was harder than they let on as most of the items were handmade so “somebody” was making them…and the services were done on the spot. ”. So why were they still so happy?

I was talking to one of our wonderful waiters, Mathew, while we were eating dinner one night, and I asked him “You have such a beautiful personality and a very special way with taking care of us …who taught you to be so kind and thoughtful?” He smiled and said, “Nobody, I just love what I do and am always looking for new ways to serve.” I asked the Manager in charge about him, and she smiled and said “Yes, everyone says the same thing about Mathew. He’s is wonderful.” You know if it weren’t for Immigration, I would have brought that young man home with me to show how real customer service is supposed to be!!!!What a breath of “fresh air”!

That got me to thinking about how we speak to each other and to “our customers” on a daily basis. I think we sometimes forget that it IS our “livelihood” in the housing industry and how we communicate to our customers and to each other really does make a difference between “success and failure”.

Maybe we need to adopt some of that Caribbean style attitude when it comes to working with our own customers. Andin the words of the Island’s most infamous native son, Bob Marly,  “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living? Ya mon, no problem!”