Oh joy! The holidays are here! That means everyone starts their annual rituals of “whirl wind” mass quantity buying sprees for foods you normally would never eat, hunting for that “extra special” gift for people who you know are going to either “re-gift it the minute they get home OR return it for the money, major schedule manipulations balancing work deadlines, party invitations and unique family gatherings so “those people” who talk smack about the whole family can get along for at least a few hours in the same room together, ALL WHILE our emotions are running rampant ranging from deliriously happy to borderline psychotic episodes

Well, let me remind you that the 1950’s are long gone, and quite frankly never did exist except in the “minds of those family members who still today live in Mayberry”. Family gatherings today have such different meaning as the “blending of people, cultures, and expectations” can be diametrically opposed. “That’s not how we did it when I was growing up!” becomes the mantra for this special time of year.

So how do we cope with such an increased stress level to not only live through this time of year without doing more damage to ourselves OR our families and friends?  Remember you can’t change or control others, so your only alternative is to change YOU and YOUR responses.

After researching several web sites on this matter, I found some terrific suggestions that made good sense and might be worth trying to help us all get through this overly sensitive time of year.

1. BE REALISTIC! Quit trying to make the people in your life change for YOUR expectations. Make a list of all those who will be involved and honestly ask yourself how they are going to react during this time and just prepare or work around those actions. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment and then be angry because it didn’t turn out like YOU wanted it to. Past behavior is a pretty good indicator of future actions.
2. GET YOUR REST! Now more than ever, sleep deprivation can be deadly during this volatile time of year. Patience levels will be at an “all time low” and sleep is the answer to rejuvenation of your tolerance abilities. You don’t want this to be the “event” that divides your family or friends for life! And your immune system will also be challenged with the changes of the seasons. Nothing worse than being “sick AND tired” at the holidays!
3. Volunteer! Although ANY time of year is good for volunteering, we are inundated with reminders of how “blessed” we are and how “others are not”. Make it a group effort by organizing groups of people at work, at school, in your neighborhoods, at your local associations, churches, charities, etc. , to volunteer for a few hours to just “help out” doing whatever. The REAL reason for this season is to “give back” to those who need your help the most. P.S. And as I said, you could actually be doing this all year long! People need people every day!
4. REFLECT ON THE HAPPY TIMES! Typically we humans love try and outdo one another by talking about who has had the most horrible “doom and gloom” story in our lives. Especially at the holidays, reflecting about those “bad memories” only makes you more anxious and upset BEFORE the event even occurs! Try and think about those happy or funny times that have happened throughout the years, and hopefully those stories will help roll over into more recent happy memories to talk about. Laughter truly is the best medicine!!!
5. MAKE A PLAN FOR 2011! We have all endured such difficult times these past few years with the economic challenges, job losses, home foreclosures, illnesses, etc., that 2011 really will be the “light at the end of the tunnel”. Start reviewing the major areas of your life you want to improve. This ISN”T a New Year’s resolution list cause those NEVER turn out to be beneficial. Instead this is an “Action Plan” for the New Year. Take a “real look” at what you have accomplished this year, reflecting on why those events turned out so well and decide how you can make them even better next year. Here are some areas to consider:

1. Your Health: What do you need to do to get “healthy” and regain your energy level you once had? Taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking a few isles further from the front door is a great start on improving your endurance.
2. Your Finances: How can you increase your savings and reduce debts?  Even small amounts whether saving or paying off your debts makes a big difference in a year’s time.
3. Your Work: Nothing so conclusively proves a person’s ability to lead others, as what they do each day to lead themselves. Where do you want to be at the end of next year and what do you need to do to get there?
4. Your Family: How can you make your family life better, smoother, more productive, more organized, less stressful? Remember if you don’t have time for your family now, they won’t have time for YOU later in life! They will learn to live without you.
5. Your Education: What skills are you lacking to meet your career or personal goals? What classes will help you to become more a more valuable asset to your company? To yourself?

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become. Your best is yet to come!"

Happy Holidays from the Ramstedt Family to Yours!