Cate Chase's Blog

Dating websites have helped those of us in the world who have “great personalities” find others who are willing to go out with them.  It pretty much takes all the shame out of someone saying no, and you can more or less mold yourself online so that “no” isn’t even an option.  Photoshop, anyone?  Ladies, you know we all already do it on Facebook.  And you can take as many pictures at just the right angle as you want in order to get the best picture possible!  Then just stretch it a little to make yourself look thinner, crop out that extra arm fat, cover blemishes, and add a little shading for abs and cleavage.  Brightening your eye color also adds a world of difference.  And voila!  In no time, the date requests will come rolling in (that is, if you left out “WoW” and “LARPing” from the interests on your profile.

Now, you aren’t home free yet.  Even if you do have a great personality, those altered photos might be considered false advertising by your date.  All I can say is, I hope they don’t just walk in, look at you, and walk out.  But at least you used a photo of yourself – cause I can guarantee if you put up a picture of Eva Longoria or Brad Pitt, you aren’t fooling anyone.

Ok, I know by now you’re thinking, Why am I reading about creating an internet dating profile on an apartment marketing blog?  Stick with me here.  Say you are now creating a website for your apartment complex – obviously you want to include pictures showing your community in the best light possible.  For example, what potential resident wouldn’t want to come check out this place?

I think it's about time to give apartment managers a break.  All previous posts on No More HomeMade Flyers have light-heartedly poked fun at the marketing strategies implemented by apartment managers that have gone awry, but today we are going to take a moment to try and understand why these marketing efforts have fallen short.

In everyday life we spend most of our time trying to find balance.  As a college student, this often means finding balance between drinking beer and hitting the books.  Eventually trying to find balance becomes a more serious matter, as illustrated by Sara Scarborough Graham in a "sneak preview" blog post for her e-book Baby Steps.  She includes anecdotes from real women who juggle careers, spouses, children, housekeeping, bills, etc.  The list goes on and on - and sometimes it makes you wonder, if there was a job description that included everything you do on a daily business (even the nitty-gritty, like changing diapers or helping your husband shave his hairy back), would you apply for the job?

This is where apartment managers come in.  They're regular people, just like you and me, but you have to wonder if their employers aren't expecting them to balance just a little too much from day to day:

It seems as though sometimes the simplest things are the funniest.  This morning I was reading through the newspaper distributed by my college, and even though I have the highest respect for the all-student staff, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at an article in which the author was clearly trying very hard to incorporate dry humor.  By the time he threw in a joke about "one less place for students to get mugged on campus," I had just about had it - not only because that is a real danger for college students, but because it was SUCH an awkward side comment that just did not belong in the article.  This is why I turn to sources such as the FAIL Blog for laughs - they don't have to try too hard.  When I saw a post from The Apartment Expert, Lisa Trosien (author of the Apartment Marketing Blog), on Facebook of an Apartment Fail, I decided it was time for us to take a step back and let FAIL Blog do all the work for today's post.

Now, it's pretty obvious this was supposed to say "Free WI-FI Internet", but every time I read it I can't help thinking "Free HI-FIVE Internet."  I figure the hi-five would be this apartment's version of a Facebook Poke.  Well, at least it's a sign that they can easily take down and replace.  I think the next fail might be a little bit harder to fix:

Believe it or not, it is already time for students to sign up for next semester's classes.  As they decide what they want to take and which professors they want, I'm sure the traffic on RateMyProfessors.com will skyrocket.  Instead of blindly choosing their professors, students want to know what they're getting themselves into: impossibly hard tests, long nights of homework, eye candy at the front of the classroom (ie: the hotness total as indicated by the red chili pepper symbol).  Although it is clear that occasionally those who are leaving comments are just holding a grudge about a bad grade that they really did deserve, for the most part you can get a pretty good feel for what the class will be like.  It's even possible to find out that your professor father tells the same corny jokes in the classroom that he does at home.

People love to talk about their experiences, and when marketers caught onto this phenomenon they labeled it "word-of-mouth marketing".  While it can be one of the driving factors in a business's success, it can also be the downfall.  In the apartment world, websites such as ApartmentRatings.com are king.  And yet, from the looks of it, apartment managers are having a hard time catching on...

Flipping through the Personals in today's newspaper, you're likely to see phrases such as "S/W/F seeks non-smoker" or "Enjoys long walks on the beach".  It's like an advertisement and Twitter combined when you have to describe yourself and convince someone else to date you in 140 characters or less.  When writing a personal ad, this isn't the time to admit to your "secret single behavior" or specify that you are looking for someone else who will only eat one color of Skittles at a time - in rainbow order, of course.   But even with those basic rules, it can be hard to choose which of your best characteristics you should highlight when there isn't enough room to write it all down.

Apartment managers face the same problem when advertising on Craigslist.  As Craigslist becomes the prime site for people to visit when they are looking for a place to rent, those who are posting ads need to develop the best headline they can to attract prospective residents.  Of course, the most common features to include are price, location, and number of bedrooms, but as a renter I need something more enticing!  Tell me about your marble counters, mountain views, and remodeled bathroom!  What is that one thing your apartment has that I can't get anywhere else?

Today, we pay tribute to a topic that has inspired some of the fastest growing and most popular blogs: cake! These include CakeSpy and Cupcakes Take the Cake, which feature pictures of baked goods that look so delicious you can't help but crave them. (I hate bananas and coconut, so why do I want to eat this???) On the other end of the spectrum is Cake Wrecks, which features professional cakes that have gone "horribly, hilariously wrong." Not to be afraid though, every Sunday author Jen Yates gives us hope that there are still cake bakers and decorators who are more than qualified to fill our cake orders.

You may be wondering what all of this cake talk has to do with apartment marketing. Well, apartment managers are always looking for new, creative ways to attract and retain residents, so why not have your cake and eat it too by using baked goods! If you aren't sold on the idea, or aren't sure what steps to take to execute it, here is a step-by-step plan to show residents you care!

First, if you are hosting an event for prospective residents, a sure way to get them to remember your building is by including your logo on a cake:

Apartment hunting is difficult enough, but add a pet into the mix and you'd be lucky to find a place that doesn't look like it already has its own infestation of "pets".  However, as pets become a bigger part of the family, replacing children (TLC's new documentary "My Monkey Baby" anyone?) and determining daily life choices, apartment buildings are taking notice. 

Suddenly, it seems like most buildings have no problem accepting tenants with certain types of animals - along with a $250 non-refundable deposit, of course.  So the question now is how to inform prospects that yes, you can live here without sending Fluffy to the pound!  One popular apartment search tool, Craigslist, has added the ability to indicate whether cats and/or dogs are allowed with a "purrr" or a "wooof".  But many managers feel the need to market this amenity with a little more oomph:

As Halloween draws near, the signs are abundant.  From businesses displaying gigantic bags of "Fun Size" Halloween candy to Facebook users asking friends via status updates, "What should I be for Halloween?"  Another undeniable sign of the holiday is the décor.  Families all over are carving pumpkins for the front porch and hanging fake bats from the ceiling.  Apartment buildings are joining in on the fun too, to create a sense of community for current residents and to show prospects that the doors are wide open...

Err... That is, once they make it past the cobwebs maintenance missed.  And if they don't run screaming from the spiders the size of those found in the Forbidden Forest in Harry Potter.