Topic: I'm struggling with angry resident fatigue

Not sure if this has ever been discussed before but I'm struggling with angry resident fatigue. I don't know why it seems worse this winter. Maybe I'm remembering incorrectly, but I don't remember retail or food service being this emotionally draining when it comes to angry customers. The majority of our residents are happy but there just seem to be a few that get upset about unreasonable things and I struggle to shut it off when I leave the office. Maybe it's because in today's world I have my email on my phone or maybe it's because, unlike retail and food service, they don't just leave and never come back, or maybe its because the stakes are higher since it's their home and not their cheeseburger. I don't know but it's making me dread my job lately. Anyone have advice or tips on how they just enjoy your their nights and weekends?

I’m in the same boat!

I try to do something that’s completely mindless when I’ve had an especially bad day. Like put together a puzzle or organize my Tupperware cabinet, something that I have to focus on enough to not think. And I keep copies of all the emails where people give me kudos and letters I received from people thanking me for helping them so I can remember that there are good ones out there also!

Know that it's personal because it's their home, but it's not personal because of you. Their upset likely doesn't have anything at all to do with you. You're going to do the best you can to turn them around, and you have to accept that that's all you can do.

Keep all residents interactions in perspective. You can't please everyone we simply do the best we can. Not worth losing your joy over some people are just miserable.

I understand 100%. It waxes and wanes. I've done this work for a long time and there are definitely times that are more challenging than others. Burn out is real. Right now is depressing due to weather and busy season is right around the corner. Breaks and thanks just don't come often enough.
As dumb as this sounds.. I make myself have a project when the weekend rolls around. Arts/crafts, cleaning, etc. I know that if I don't, I will spin my wheels to a dark spot.

There’s a good book called how to win friends and influence people. It has some helpful tips for trying to turn people around. It won’t always work, but I found it kind of uplifting to try out the techniques in various situations. It made the bad stuff feel more purposeful since it was good practice!

Everytime you have a rough interaction close the office for a moment and watch a funny video to lighten you mood. This industry will eat you alive if you dont laugh as often as possible.

Property management is so trying and rewarding at the same time! You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned “it’s their home”. Unfortunately you will always have “those” few residents that you seem to never be able to make happy, however remember all the ones that love calling your property home. Shutting off is very hard to do and honestly it’s ok, that is what is going to make you incredible in your career. Property management is 24-7 and shutting off is a very hard thing to do. Surround yourself with an awesome team and continue to do the best you can do for your residents. If you continue that route the negative will roll off your back. Just always remember some people enjoy negativity and belly aching even if you’ve literally done all you can do! It sounds to me that your dedicated to your craft, keep up the good work and roll on!!!

Its rough, I do a lot of work with properties that need to be “fixed” & usually the first 60 days are all angry residents & lots of yelling. I focus on truly hearing them and letting them know that I will be honest and fair and work all my best magic to make things right. Often times the ones that started out the angriest at me become my biggest supporters. Hang in there!!

As a whole, our friends and neighbors are scared: their income taxes are coming in lower and possibly even owing, the shut downs will have a huge affect of the economy. It’s scary. Their scared - we’re scared. Treat it delicately because the situation is delicate, at best.

I let them vent but I don't inhale in their emotions. I usually grab a pad, start documenting the facts of their needs. For an example if Mr. Smith says something like this: " I am so angry your staff is doing a horrible job, my garbage disposal is not working, and they never fix it and I am thinking of moving out!" The only thing I focused was... his garbage disposal is not working and he wants to move out. So then I tell him. Thank you Sir, so just to recap, your garbage disposal is not working, I will put in a work order immediately for you also you mentioned you want to move out, would you like to provide a 60 day notice to vacate? At that point I've done my job and provided great customer service to Mr. Smith. But I don't inhale nothing negative inside my soul. Hope this helps. God bless.

It's their home....it is their home.

As a whole, great property managers simply do not take time to take care of themselves. Virtually everyone I know loses vacation time at the end of the year, or carry over a lot of hours. You MUST use your vacation time, and I don't mean 1 day at a time. Everyone needs to re-charge their batteries, and it takes a week away to do that. I'm not sure where you live, but if you can take a cruise, do that. It get's you away from the phone, computer, email, text, etc, etc. They are actually very affordable ways to spend a week, but whatever you do, ditch the phone, computer and email.

This is so true! You must find an outlet to be able to turn off work and enjoy life. I started on site and then moved into a regional manager position. I managed over 10,000 units through the years. I have seen this industry, which I love, eat people up! Don’t let it happen to you.
I remember driving by a community just after 6:00 pm and I noticed the manager was still at work as we had an owner inspection the next day. The thing was the property looked and was running smooth. We had properly prepared for the inspection, all ducks were lined up. I stopped by the day before to make sure all was on track for the visit and it was. She let me know during the meeting that her daughter was going to her first school formal dance, BIG DAY, new dress, hairdo and make up! She was exited for her daughter and was really looking forward to helping her. When I drove by that evening she was still in the office worried about how the tour would go instead of being where she needed to be with her daughter. I made her leave to go be with her daughter. You can never get those special moments back, never. She was in tears when she realized she was missing an important life event!
Make sure you work for a good company that gives you support and teaches you to understand and have the confidence to know when you are doing a great job or not.
A few years ago I was asked to write a guest blog for a fitness page. The link is to the article. It’s a story of what can go wrong when you don’t take care of yourself over the long term. Good people let life pass by forgetting what is the most important in life.

my best vacation ever was cruise and although it was great fun, o think what made it so good was my limited access to what was going on back home. Cruise, remote cabin in the mountains, anything that sounds like a great setup for a scary movie is ideal

I have email on my phone too. What really helped was shutting off notifications so I wasn't constantly hitting email as habit (I shut them off for personal email too). Then it's just a matter of committing to not checking work email off hours, because R&R is very important.

Well, the constant access definitely makes it more stressful. Stop checking email after a certain time at night and on weekends. Powering down helps tremendously, and a vacation with little to no access is a must at least once a year. But Honestly, I always try to make it my mission to make that handful of residents happy. If they are complaining about customer service, then I’m focusing on training my team to stand and greet everyone(not just prospects but the residents too) and keeping a smile on their face and their cell phone in their desk. If it’s cleanliness, then I step up on walking my property and making sure it’s cleaner than it’s ever been. If you stop seeing them as angry residents and start seeing them as your personal challenge, those are the residents that will make you a better manager in the long run.

Knowing that there only 2 things that are going to happen is the key. There are things that are in your control and things that aren't in your control. You can do very little for things that aren't in your control and if they happened, you only have 2 choices. To dwell in it and let it eat you up or move on. You can't control what someone might do or say but you can control your reaction. It doesn't mean you don't take pride in your work but knowing you do the best you can and keep on learning and if an incident happened that is beyond your control, we need to be able to learn from it and move on. Don't dwell on it.

Great post! I really enjoyed everyone’s positive responses, some days just feel like your running on a hamster wheel and fire is chasing you! Lol... hang in there

Don’t take it personally.

Oh... and it’s your property, not theirs.

I often have to remind myself of that. This is MY apartment building! I need to quit acting like they own it and I cater to them. I have one tenant in particular that thinks he needs to tell me how to run things. I'm tempted to tell him to go and buy his own building. Then he can be the boss, lol!

In retail and food and beverage you don’t actually live with your customers. So, naturally it’s much more demanding. Hang in there

Turn off your phone and/or don’t look at work email. Have a glass of wine and shake it off, girl. Don’t let them steal your joy!

Meditation, boundaries. I went through this as well. Here’s the best thing that changed it for me. DO NOT say “no” to anything right away. Listen and don’t try to resolve the issue or reason with their craziness. Listen, write down (in front of them so they see you care to get it right) what the issue is verbatim as they describe it. Repeat back what the isssue is. Tell them you hear them, tell them you’re sorry they are upset (this is not admitting fault). Then promise them a time you will meet or speak with them again. They will leave, and cool down. Even if you know the answer might not make them happy, delaying the inevitable is usually much better for your stress levels. And, many of these residents will calm down, have a cooler head after a night sleeping on it or addressing the following day. Giving things space of time really works.

Dont take things personally ! I agree with everyone advice on the subject. I especially like what someone said about "dont inhale the negativity " just listen. That's all they want! Listening really gies a long way!

I've learned not to take it personal. Listen, do what you can and move on. Our residents are going through life too. Whatever it may be... its life. Always be empathetic. Be genuine. They'll appreciate you for that.

Property management eventually got to me so bad I had to get out. I became very judgmental and bitter. I've let it all go since then but I pray I never have to manage property again. It was between the tenants and corporate office and some of the regionals. Working section 8 I was assulted by a tenant, had a murder suicide, another man set fire and killed his family. I could on and on...even the good properties...every body has a lawyer but can't pay the rent. Godbless you all. I can't do it again.

What a raw and awesome post. Hang in there, it’s a business, but it’s amazing how much you care!

You have to learn not to take it personal and find something that works for you... for me it's reading, every night when I get home I find a quiet spot and read for an hour to shut off from the day/week. My family and friends know this is my quiet time to clear my head so I do not take the daily stress out of them.

The best advice I've received - Assume positive intent. It changes your perspective radically. The folks coming to you so angry and upset just want an outcome that will fit their idea of what will make their life better. they simply don't know how to express it properly. When you look at it like that and respond in kind, you know you are doing your best. When you walk out at the end of the day, you can leave it in the office. Don't look at your emails after hours unless required. Create some kind of buffer between work and home - walk around the block, anything to signal to your brain that work is done for the night or weekend.

Thanks everyone for the advice, support and positivity. It’s much appreciated!

There are the tough customers and tough days!
2 things I encourage and have done:
One of the big benefits of our career is that you can go on "walkabout!" When a resident has just sandblasted you with negatives you can go walk vacants, walk your property, go to the bank, shop for office supplies, go some happier place and BREATHE!
The 2nd is that, YES, there are those grinch customers (as Anne Sadovsky has said, the ones that put the CUSS in customer service!) But there are the ones that have blessed you as well! I like to write down the stories of the ones that brought cookies, left a note thanking the staff, shared a life moment and you were able to help them...Keep a journal of those moments and read them on the days you are afraid you may go postal on someone!