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Don't Let Fear Steal Your Confidence

Have you ever found yourself reverting back to the negative side of things? If so, this article is a great place to examine possible reasons and identify ways to kick that habit. Did you know that low self-confidence is linked to fear or many fears regarding professional and personal life? Let’s address a few of those fears, and if they hit close to home, think about that and think about how together, we can overcome them.

Not being effective in our interactions with peers or supervisors is a big one. No one wants to be looked down on as inferior or feel like they’re always going to say the wrong thing. In that same breath, the fear of offending people while you communicate with them can be crippling. It can hold us back from sharing honest and helpful opinions. The key to beating that is by using our words in an optimistic way.

Worrying is another common reason. Worrying too much about rules, or etiquette can stress us out to the point we second-guess ourselves. Many of these centers around our perception of how others think about us. We might avoid disagreements out of a fear of being wrong, or because we think others find us uneducated or uninformed. The number of fears we could list is truly countless, and while those fears might not fully disappear, there are ways around them, which give self-confidence, and boost self-esteem.


This first one sounds funny: Fake it ‘til you make it

 This age old saying often comes with a negative spin but we’ll use it in a positive light. No one is asking you to lie. That’s not a good way to build strong workplace relationships. But “faking it” could look more like presenting yourself and your ideas in a confident way, even though fear might be telling you to hold them in. Acting brave can lead to bravery. 

Real quick, I’d like it if you all took a deep breath in. Then go ahead and exhale. Don’t you feel better already? Did it make you relax just a slight bit more? I realize it’s not always easy – “finding a way to unwind”; but calming your nerves and visualizing success are proven techniques to make you and the people around you feel more confident. And the best part about this? Relaxation can occur wherever you need it to. So, step out in the hallway, take a few deep breaths, then come back in refreshed and relaxed for the task at hand.

Another way to battle low self-confidence, is to “Prepare”. Always be ready for what you might encounter in the workplace, whether that’s a presentation in front of your superiors or a chat about current events with your cubicle neighbor. Make sure you’re prepared, well informed, organized, and in-the-know of whatever you’re dealing with. Finally, a sure-fire way to combat fear, and build self-confidence in our workplace environment, is to “be consistent”. Those who you work for and with will have more confidence in you and you’ll have more confidence in yourself once you’ve developed some credibility.

 So, to review the key points from this 3-part series, you should do what? Insult everyone! Create hostile working conditions for your fellow employees! Have food fights! Only kidding, although food fights are enjoyable in the right setting. Let’s be genuinely kind to one another in our daily interactions, offer a personal, customized greeting when you can. In moments of conflict, look on the bright side and try to avoid pointing fingers at your co-workers or yourself.

 And remember, self-confidence is something many of us struggle with, but there are ways to beat the fear that causes low self-confidence. 

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I struggled with fear for much of my life...and it remains a challenge today! Thanks for sharing Wesley!

  Rommel Anacan
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Thanks Rommel! I believe most people experience fear at some level throughout their life, if fear is something you’ve dealt with, you are living proof that fear cannot hold us back from achieving greatness.

  Wesley Aleshire
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Nice article Wesley and appropriate for everyone. I would like to add "What others think of you is none of your business!" It's almost startling in it's simplicity. They judge, misunderstand and label, all three of which can be debilitating. If you are paying attention, we all do. But letting them hold the key to your courage makes you continue on the fear cycle. And about worrying. Does it help, make a difference or make you feel better? Then stop! Simple as that - change your thinking every time you catch yourself worrying.

  Tracey Hopkins
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Wow, that’s an inspiring perspective. Just yesterday I was talking with my son about playing with more of the kids in the neighborhood, they play soccer and he doesn’t know how, it had prevented him from even attempting to play with them. I encouraged him to not worry and to just give it a shot. As a result, he made a ton of new friends by the end of the day and scored a few goals. Fear of judgment sometimes comes from within and it may not even be a real thing at all. We use a common saying in our home “There is nothing to fear but fear itself”.

  Wesley Aleshire

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