Friends, my heart grieves for all that is going on in our nation today. I thought long and hard about what to write in this post. I don't want to add to the anger; the pain; the chaos; the confusion; the hurt that many people are feeling right now.

Yet, I do want to help bridge some gaps; bring some understanding; and give you some things that you can do to bring some healing into your world. 

The fact is we cannot change everything in the entire world-but that shouldn't stop us from endeavoring to bring positive change into our world. And as we change our personal world one person at a time, we can trigger the kind of change that will make our entire world a better place, for more people, more often. 

Where can you start? 

In my “Relationology-The Secrets of Winning With People” program and in my leadership programs I mention this quote by author John Eldredge,

“The greatest impact you will make in your life is in the quality of relationship you offer to people.”

Oh, how I want you to receive this my friends! When all is stripped away, the one thing that will matter the most to you is the relationships you’ve had in your life. Yes, your skills and what you DO are important! But it’s who you are and what you offer to people that makes a world-changing difference, 

You want to make a positive impact right now in a world that desperately needs it? Make a decision to offer great relationships to the people in your world. 

Of course, as you know, the problem with this is that we all define “great relationships” differently, because we are all different. We logically know we are all different-but emotionally, we tend to have a harder time with the differences between us.  

We see this play out in seemingly silly ways: for example, I don’t like seafood. Yet I’m an Asian guy who grew up in Hawaii, which leads many people to believe that I must love sushi, sashimi, poke, lobster, crab, or anything that comes from the ocean! Well, my favorite meals are ribeye steaks or fried chicken. (Wow, that sounds good right now!)

So for much of my life I have been criticized for not liking seafood. I have had countless people tell me that it’s wrong that I don’t like seafood and that I am “missing out.” To which I tell them, “I’m not missing out because I don’t like it!” 

If people will get passionate about something as insignificant as “seafood” how much more passion will we have over the issues that truly matter in our lives today?

The Power of the Three L’s

If you’re wondering what you can do to help heal a hurting world right now, remember to start with a commitment to offer great relationships to the people in your world. Then do these things...

(I need to give credit to Pastor John Gray who mentioned these L's in a talk) 

LOVE: Choose to love the people around you. Before saying or typing something, ask yourself

• Is this loving? 
• Is this kind? 
• Is this respectful?
• Does this help or hurt? 
• Does this bring people together or keep us apart?
• Is this the type of conversation I should have at work? (Look, I know that for us as a nation to experience the kind of real change that I believe we all need to have some tough conversations. However wisdom and discernment also lets us know when the right time is to have the tough conversations.)

Engaging with the people around you with LOVE will empower you to do the next two things!

LISTEN: The one thing I hear right now is that people just want to be heard. They want the freedom to express their truth, their experience, their feelings, their perspectives without debate, shame, guilt, minimization and/or insults hurled their way. We live in a world where so many people talk AT each other, but not to each other. We live in a world where so many people feel their voices are unheard. 

When someone you love is hurting and wants to share their experiences with you-honor them by actively listening and empathizing, with love. You do NOT need to agree with every part of their experience to listen and empathize well. BTW: Refrain from offering suggestions and solutions when someone is sharing their story. Just be present. Listen well. Empathize. Thank them for sharing. 

LEAD: The world needs wise leaders-good leaders now more than ever. Leaders who lead with strength and courage and grace and humility. Leaders who have the vision to see multiple sides and the wisdom and courage to bridge the gaps that can exist between good people trying to do their best but who may see things differently. 

I would encourage you to ask yourself:

• What can I do to lead well during this time?
• What does healthy leadership look like right now?
• What are the things that I need to let go of that could affect my ability to lead, listen and love well?
• What do the people that I have influence/authority over need from me right now?

My friends if we all choose to do these things…we CAN be the change we want to see. 

Until next time~thanks for reading!