Over the past few months we have discussed some of the underlying problems within the wonderful profession of real estate development. We have also bantered about individual solutions to prepare ourselves (as the next generation) which have ranged from education to understanding the key success traits for our own self-improvement. Hopefully these have been fairly logical. But, if so, then why hasn’t it just naturally happened? Sadly, ‘obvious’ and ‘easy’ don’t always go hand-in-hand.
I would suggest that self-improvement is one of the most difficult things to achieve- especially on our own. Often we are just not equipped to step back and look at ourselves objectively. And, even if we are, we don’t necessarily have the tools to affect the changes that we need. And when it comes to creating a good developer- it really takes a village.
It would be nice if we could learn everything that we need to know from our superiors or the more experienced folks within our firms, but unfortunately, my generation and the one before me has left our profession in shambles. The built world is an uglier, less urbanistically successful place for many of our incursions into it. The reason for this is that (statistically speaking) you likely work for a spreadsheet monkey who was never taught or didn’t embrace the romance of what we do. He can’t teach you because he doesn’t know himself. If you want to be great, you will need to actively seek out the folks who can develop in you, the qualities that you need. SPOILER ALERT: Here comes the ‘M’ word. You need a mentor.
The mentor / mentee relationship can be among the most rewarding that you ever have- if you do it right. But what we need to understand that a mentor is not someone whom we meet with periodically that listens to us and gives us advice. That is a therapist. Mentorship, to be successful, requires three things:
- Reciprocity. A mentor is someone who is as invested in your growth as you are. The mentor’s job is not to give you answers, but to help you find them for yourself. They don’t tell you ‘what’ without showing you ‘why’ and how it’s all connected. A mentor wants to learn from you as well.
- Time. Mentorship doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long-term commitment whose depth grows with mutual knowledge and trust.
- Intimacy. The mentorship relationship is personal. For both the mentor and the mentee, no subject should be ‘off limits.’ Our successes are as important as our failures. Anecdotes and experiences, the things that make us ‘us’ matter.
Lastly, whether as mentors or mentees, we need to be cognizant of the commitment that we are making from the onset. If we aren’t willing to put in the time, or be fully present in the relationship, then we shouldn’t enter into it. If we are unwilling invest ourselves, declining to be a mentor can be the exact right response.
Personally, I have never had a great mentor, but I hope that one day I will have been one. What about you? Have you had a great mentor? Have you had a crappy one? Thoughts?