There's a point when you stop caring. 

You know, when a resident is upset. You go into your "shtick". You listen, you explain, you keep it professional. When the resident leaves you don't feel better or worse, you just move on to the next thing on your list. 

A client wants to rent from you, and you say, "great". But, honestly, you're not that excited. On the one hand, you're glad that you rented that apartment, and don't have to hear your regional ask you why that vacant has been vacant for so long. On the other, you're not looking forward to having to do the whole process again. 

Your regional calls and congratulates you on renting that vacant ... and then starts to ask you about the next 2-3 apartments have been sitting longer than she'd like. You used to get really frustrated and angry that she didn't notice all of the other apartments you rented. Today, you just think, "Whatever." 

You say all the things you know you're supposed to say, but your heart isn't in it.

This is the time to worry. 

Look, multifamily is a tough business. The job requires you to deal with other people's drama, their complaints, pressure, urgency, and expectations, every single day. And no matter what you do it can feel like it's never enough. 

• That residents who is never happy no matter what you do.
• The manager who reminds you that your "leasing velocity" is down.
• The regional who is breathing down your neck for a report he asked you for 10 minutes ago.
• The owner who is berating you for not having every available unit pre-leased, even though your numbers and income projections are good.
• The employees who complain about everything you do, no matter what you do.

Do this every day, and your system does what it has to do to keep you going. It shuts things down. You feel fatigued, burned out. 

If this is where you are, I'm not here to give you a pep talk. Lord knows that's probably the last thing you need, but I am telling you it's time to do something about it.

Why? Because your life is too valuable and too precious to spend so much of it feeling "meh". (Or is it "mid"? What do the cool kids say now?)

One: Practice the Present Principle

Start by noticing where you've gone on autopilot. Then choose to be a little more present. Start small at first. Say, that resident who comes in to ask a question. Really focus on that person. As a person. Try to make her life a little better just because she stopped in to talk to you. 

Instead of letting AI handle the follow up, type a few emails yourself, with personal anecdotes from your time with those prospects, so that they know that you care. 

When you walk past your leasing consultant (or service technician) and they look like something is "off"...pause and ask them about how they're doing, instead of just racing to the next thing on your list. When they thank you for checking in on them-not because you want more productivity, but because you care-remember that you made a difference. 

When you do that move-in, take in the smiles on the face of that newlywed couple who can't believe they're in their new home. 

Sometimes just noticing the simple things in your day that bring you joy, and how your work helps others, is enough to break through the fog. 

Two: Identify the Conversation You Need to Have (With Others, With Yourself, or Both)

When we feel numb it's often because there is something unresolved that needs to be dealt with internally or externally.   Our system starts to numb to deal with the discomfort that we feel. Numbing out, checking out, becoming apathetic, is our way to cope and adjust to a life that isn't meeting our expectations. 

What's the conversation you keep having in your head—but not out loud?

BTW: I'm not suggesting that as soon as you identify the conversation that you schedule the meeting with your boss, or walk into your co-worker's office, or that you send the text to that owner you can't deal with anymore! I just want you to notice what's been weighing you down, sitting just below the surface, and then deciding what kind of honesty would actually help. This is where having a wise mentor or sage that you can bounce this off of would be so helpful. 

What about when the talk you need to is with you? Here is a question to reflect on...

What truth about this season of my work have I been minimizing just to keep going?

Take two minutes at the end of your shift. Sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and ask yourself the question again: "What truth about this season of my work have I been minimizing?"

And when you get an answer, say it out loud. Write it down. Put it in your Notes app. Marinate on it. Pray about it. Reflect. Before taking action, ask wise people in your life for their input. 

Three: Take Action

When you're clear on the action you need to take, take action. Do something about it. If you don't do anything to change the story, the story won't change!!

Now, I can't promise you that your action will trigger change, nor can I promise that it'll go well, or on the other side of it will be the results you want. But, what I do know is that when you do take a positive step, you WILL feel good knowing that you're doing what you can to change the story. 

As Arthur said to Iris in The Holiday:

"In the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend."

Life is an adventure to be lived, so be the star of your own adventure my friend.

(Life is too precious to spend your days feeling apathetic, detached, and distanced.)