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Rommel Anacan

Welcome to my blog on MFI! This blog allows me to have an ongoing conversation with multifamily professionals like you. My focus is on helping you and your companies succeed by helping you optimize the quality of your relationships. If you'd like more information about me, my company and the ways that I can help you, please visit my website at www.RelationshipDifference.com

Help! I Don't Like My Boss!

Help! I Don't Like My Boss!

Let's face it you will not always work for a boss that you like (respect, get along with, agree with, think is competent etc.). In your career you are bound to work for someone (or have someone in your chain of command) that you have issues with. Surveys tell us that approximately 70% of people who voluntarily leave their jobs do so because of their boss. Surveys also tell us that a high percentage of people would make either a lateral move or take a pay cut to work for a company with a better work culture and environment. 

What do you do if you find yourself now working with someone that you don't like? Well, before you quit, or send passive-agreessive (or just downright aggressive) signals that you're unhappy, or try and change your boss to the way that you think s/he should be, or complain about your boss on social media for all of the world to see, I'd like to offer you some things to think about...

The Golden Rule

Mr. Barron, my high school history teacher often told our class his version of "The Golden Rule" and it went something like this,

He who has the gold, makes the rules. 

I have worked with an awful lot of people who've forgotten that they work for their boss and NOT the other way around. When you work with a boss you don't like, don't make the situation worse by forgetting that whatever your concerns, point of view, and perspectives, ultimately your boss is the one who is the boss. Actively undermining, sabotaging, and/or sandbagging may hurt your boss, but will hurt you too. 

Is This Actually a You Issue?

You may not want to admit it, but the issues you have with your boss may be more a result of your point of view than your boss' behavior! For example you may prize structure, organization, punctuality and adherence to systems-while your boss may have a more "free-flowing" leadership style that is dynamic, ever-changing and slightly chaotic. You might be people-driven and derive your energy from people, while your boss may be more task and analytics driven who seems to be drained by people. 

If you're a people person you might find your task-driven boss to be "cold and uncaring." If you're more systems and structure you might find your "dynamic" boss to be the chaos personified. If you allow these negative filters to color your views of your boss, its bound to affect the relationship. Why is this a problem? If it comes down to you or your boss, who is your boss going to choose??

Friends, if you have a problem with your boss I would recommend that you pause and ask yourself, "Is this a me issue or my boss' issue?" If the issue is you, what can you do today to change the story? In other words, focus on what can YOU do to change things. 

If the issue is truly your boss then you may need to speak with Human Resources to get their advice on what to do next. You may also need to have a conversation with your boss to talk about your concerns. Check with HR and/or someone wiser that you trust before you have the conversation to get some input and advice on how to do it effectively!

It Only Takes One to Tango

What I've learned in over 14 years of intensely studying the science of relationships is that most relationships (personal and professional) get stuck when the people in them ask, "Why should I be the one to change??" Everyone then digs in their heels, draws their line in the sand and waits for the other people to see the error of their ways. With everyone waiting for change, nothing changes. You continue to be unhappy. Your boss continues to be unhappy. What good is that?

Instead, I encourage you to remember this truth, "It Only Takes One to Tango!" You CAN trigger the change you want, right now! While I could teach a whole class on this (shameless plug) what I would encourage you to do is think about what you've done that seems to make things worse and do a 180! Do something different! When you change that will often trigger a chain reaction of change. 

Don't make the mistake of trying so hard to be right that you forget to be happy too. 

You might be wondering, what if things don't change? What if I can't stand working with my boss anymore??

Knowing When and How to Leave

Once you've made the decision to leave and start planning your exit make a decision to be the best employee on the planet! Seriously! Go above and beyond. Be positive. Curb the negative attitude. Resist the temptation to act like you don't care. Be excited about what you do every day. I don't care if it's an act and you're just faking it, make a decision to be a model employee until you walk out the door for the last time. You're strong, I know you can do it!

There are several reasons for this:

  • It makes the work environment better
  • It makes it easier for you to deal with the negative feelings and emotions you have
  • It sends a message about your professional character and establishes your reputation within the industry. Recruiters have access to a ton of information and a network of people, don't sabotage your future career prospects by how you act in your last days at a company!
  • Your example may also inspire people and trigger so much powerful change in the people around you that you won't want to quit!

Closing Thought

I know it's frustrating to work for someone you don't like (or have issues with in an area). But remember you're always going to have issues with everyone in some area! It's just the way relationships work. That being said there are things you can do today to help things get better-and if they don't get better and you choose to leave, do it with with honor and respect. 

Of course there is so much more to cover than can be covered in a blog post, so stay tuned for more blog posts on this subject!

Until next time-thanks for reading!

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This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I'm surprised no one has commented on your post, Rommel, because on Facebook people comment all the time about how they don't like theirs or their coworkers. I can only speak for myself. I find that if the boss micromanages relentlessly, no matter how long we work together, there will be problems. The same is true if the boss never supports me in making a decision and everything has to be approved by one more person, and then just one more person ... and then it never gets approved or completed. For me, lack of trust and lack of clear communication cause me the most grief in a work situation. Clearly, people in boss roles are sometimes just that - bossy and not leaders.

  Mindy Sharp
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Thanks for reading and sharing Mindy!

  Rommel Anacan
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I have been very fortunate throughout my jobs I have held as I have had bosses that I choose to learn from. People tend to hire people like themselves if they interview directly. I have learned something from each one even those much younger than me. Only one time when I was young did I have a boss that was demeaning, rude, and not a nice person. I left.

  Teresa Swift
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Thanks for reading, Teresa!

  Rommel Anacan

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