Topic: Why are so many managers allowed to abuse their powers?

Why are so many managers allowed to abuse their powers? Why when an employee reaches out to their regional the manager retaliates? Why when HR is reached out to, why doesn't HR help verses just says let's get rid of them. Where are peoples morales? Why do they see employees who come for help as the problem? Or when many employees go for help about the same person and the employess just get let go. That's why no one speaks up, they need a job and they feel they have to take the abuse. Very toxic, right? When will regional and HR actually do what their put there to do? Why don't they investigate and not just take what the manager says or the employee says and actually do their homework. I think there should be more training on this. HR shouldn't be allowed to be friends with people in their company as that would also have a factor on who's side they'll be on. Just like we aren't allowed to be friend's with residents as we could violate fair housing. I feel managers shouldn't be in their positions unless they are 100% stable mentally and understand not to mix personal with buissness. Anyways I'm done with my rant. I'm just tired of managers and upper management abusing their position and wish I could do something about it for everyone who stays quiet due to them knowing they will just get fired. That's like someone abusing you mentally or physically, and you can't do anything about it. Many people in this industry have anxiety and health problems due to these toxic environments . I really like the industry itself, but some of the people who manage it hurts this industry! If someone knows how I can help change this, please let me know! Yes, it's easy to say, just choose a different career. That's not the point. The point is that change needs to be done in this industry! Why should we have to leave something we enjoy , due to the people management decides to hire? Then choose to keep them in position when people come for help and no help is given??

Very well said…. And sad but very very true

I'm sorry!

Just went through all this. Followed the chain of command only to be talked down to, demeaned in front of other property managers at meetings, regional who loved using the f word towards employees nothing was ever done cause she gets the money from tenants. I got sick from stress, saw cardiologist, had testing done. Dr said I was in a toxic work environment. I got a new job making less money. I struggle but I feel much better. Just wish the higher ups would have stepped up and made sure that we were all treated as we should be.

Kisha Gaskill I had a doctor tell me straight up that my job was killing me. I hope your new role is treating you better.

Kisha Gaskill I'm so sorry! This sucks they don't change so your forced to go where less money is made. Shame.

Kisha Gaskill I resigned last Friday.

I resigned a couple of weeks ago too.

There’s two solutions- Move companies or own your own.There’s horrible bosses everywhere!!

James Austin Shannon that's the problem it's almost in every company. Change is what needs to happen.

I've been through it myself, more than once... if I knew how to change it, I would.

Kiely Barrett me too! Then they talk to your next job and tell them your the problem. When in reality you just don't take their abuse!

Kristina, this isn’t the first time you have posted about being in a bad situation. I know it sucks and I am sorry you are in this situation. No one deserves to go to work and get bullied. But you need to realize your company sucks and isn’t going to change. They have made it very clear they are not interested in making a change in leadership. You either need to find a way to live with that or get out.

Brooke Frederickson Hello ,my last post was about my friend, but they are afraid and don't speak up. I speak up and you are correct but it just sucks that there's no help .

The company I workfor is not like that....I absolutely love them... they rock!!! But they only have one property here... for now

I'm sorry Kristina Janis because you are so kind too and I KNOW you love this industry! I hate that it's being ruined for you. Is it possible to find another company?

Lilah D Poltz yes, the problem is I keep getting placed with these type of people lately. I miss my old managers! This past year it's not a good year. All my previous managers were great! I want to find a good team .

Kristina Janis What about finding a mentor in the meantime? I know two women in the industry who are doing mentor/mentee matchmaking events soon. If you are interested, shoot me at email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Lilah D Poltz sure =]

been at companies like this and it bites. Changing Industry because I can't do inspections any longer. At least I wish I did not have to, but unfortunately people forget they could be under the circumstances.

Christine Allen I'm sorry

The truth is HR isn’t there to protect you, it’s there to protect the company. The only way they will be any help whatsoever is if someone is doing anything that can get them sued. Sad as it is, there’s no law against being a douchebag

I'm sorry, it happens way too often. I have been through it myself and it sucked. I spoke up and chose to leave. Making the best decision for you just know, leaving can be hard, scary but also the best thing for you. There are other great companies out there, make the change to be happy!

Kristen Marie Hurt I wish I could help change for everyone.

Kristina Janis me to girl, me too!

Kristina Janis I had a similar situation, had no support, when I put my notice in, I went down the list of everything that was wrong with the company and ended with "I hope that me leaving helps to get changes for everyone that remains" Another manager left about 2 months later because nothing changed and the regional said I was an "opportunist" because sitting at home for 4 months was an opportunity lol

There are always 3 sides to a story, the person telling it, the person refuting it and reality. It’s important to dig into the details. Associates will clearly see through different lenses than a manager - thus the reason for the different roles and positions. At the end of the day, all managers and regionals should lead by example ALWAYS… no letting your hair down because all eyes are on you. Your associates will only do 50% of what you’re doing right and 75% of what you should be doing better. There is a chain of command… sitting down and speaking with your manager is a start, even if he or she is the problem in your eyes. Try and see all sides. If they are blatantly not following company policy then take those documented facts to HR. Don’t go on feelings… go with facts always. You’re very correct in that not all people should be managers but the same holds true in every industry. Take emotion out of it… bullet point exactly what you or others witness or experience with maybe even date and time stamps and take facts not emotion to HR. Typically that is what I’ve seen work over the years.

Kristina Janis this is definitely a tough one. Those in a supervisory role definitely should err on the side of caution when it comes to interaction with those they supervise but all too often people get comfortable and do not realize the damage and toxicity this alone can bring to a leasing office. HR only knows what they are being told unfortunately

Idk anyone that is 100% mentally stable, in the industry or elsewhere. Like you just said, a lot of people have anxiety and depression due to the job.

Shannon Faith that's true , maybe get the managers more training, and mental help.

Kristina Janis I think the people at the corporate office should have to spend a day on site twice a year... I think they forget all that we have to deal with on a daily basis and how stressful it can be.

I have been a regional, worked my way from a leasing agent through the ranks. I have managed up to 200 employees at one time.  This is from my experience and only that but here’s how I can tell you it worked for me.Write down all the things that you like about your job. On a second sheet of paper, not next to it, but a separate sheet of paper, write down all your concerns. Take out any emotions. Everything you have a concerned with, what your concern is, why you believe it is a concern and a solution.  Get a good nights, sleep, then ask to sit down and speak to your manager.  Have your lists in front of you. Start with the first half of all the things that you love about your job. In that, you must find some thing that you love about that manager. Maybe it’s something as simple as that, they’re always on time, or that they always answer the call when you need them. Find something. You start with something positive. “First off, I’d like to say I really love working for somebody like you who is always on time. That helps get my day started off on the right foot”. Then say something like “I really wanted to talk to you because I feel like maybe I am not understanding my role in this office and would love some feedback so that I could be a better employee for you.”  I have learned over the years that if you make the conversation more about  help me help you kind of thing, it makes the person feel less attacked and more willing to hear you. Then move onto the things that you’re having a problem with. Remember, you’re going to address it as if you’re needing help with that and they are the person who holds the key to successfully providing you to help. Offer a solution- “ I was thinking that possibly we could consider doing this, what are your thoughts?” Again-  they are in charge, you must make it seem as if it’s their idea. Then, you’re going to end the conversation with the last half of all the positive things you love about your job. Save the best for last. How much you love the residents, your office, whatever it is. I am more than happy to role-play with you, you can tell me what your concerns are, and I can help you with the way to address it. The key here is to stay positive, never attack, and then, if you don’t get the results you’re looking for, then go to the next level with the same energy. Things will not change overnight, but, if the person you’re having the issue with, sees that you are positive and coming with solutions not always something negative. It will change the mood. Also, remember-  make it about them, helping you, people like to be the hero in a story.

Kristina Janis I’m very sorry that you’re having these issues, I would encourage you maybe to go ahead and see if you can have a meeting with the regional and explain your side of things. Maybe that would help them understand a little bit more.

Wow, you must work for a bad company. I have had that experience once, and moved on. I would never subject my teams or myself to that.

The way to change it go be a manager and don't be that type of manager. This is an industry for people with thick skin. Sad but true. In our society there will always be a bully. Best learn to deal with it now.

Suzanna Smith I agree be a manager that doesn't do that. However, I disagree. You shouldn't have to deal with that. That's toxic to say it's for "thick skin. You need thick skin to deal with society." People can have thick skin but that doesn't include accepting disrespect . No ma'am.

I have totally been there. Unfortunately, it is very common in the industry. I am sure it is common in all industries. There really isn't anything you can "do" except leave that company and find another with a better group of people. It took me six years to leave my past company where all the things you described happened daily. I was suicidally depressed for years because I tried so hard to be a great employee. It just robs your soul. I finally committed to finding a new employer and stuck with that commitment until I finally found one. (HINT: when interviewing, base most of your questions on how the maintenance staff is. How long they've been there, how good are they, etc. This will tell you everything you need to know. If they're all brand new, thats a red flag. If they're all 8 year veterans, thats more of a green flag).

Eric LeBlanc thank you

Sounds like you work for the wrong company

Laws and unions are our Friends. Just saying.

This is tough and happens a lot on all levels. HR is supposed to be the safety zone and somehow it really isn’t. Those I have noticed in HR haven’t been fully trained on how to handle these things discretely. I wish I could tell you there is some way to change people but there isn’t.

It is unfortunate that this happens...a lot! Trust me, I speak to thousands a year on leadership and it's one of my huge pet peeves with companies, organizations and leaders. The good news is it IS fixable, if they choose to. I know companies can change (if they want to) but if someone's company isn't changing, then it's time to make a change. The great news is there are so many opportunities for people today. (Anyone looking to find their dream job? I'd recommend Ken Coleman's book "The Proximity Principle" or listen to his podcast.)

I’ve been through this Kristina Janis. I waited 3 years to file a report. It was 21 pages long. I had always emailed myself with details when something happened so there were dates and times very specific. when I finally decided to report, the VP of HR and the current regional manager patronized me made a mockery of me, commenting on my hair, and lack of make up and much worse. The decision was made to move me to another property in a lesser role. I knew that retaliation and demotion were against the law. Sadly, I was not comfortable to take on a top 50 organization.I needed the job and didn’t feel there were any options for me. I felt stuck. I ended up working for another property for a while and then giving two weeks. I can’t remember the timeframe. it was years and years ago. I think about it from time to time and wished I had held the organization accountable and maybe it would’ve made some kind of difference. What I’ll say is this, it only takes one person, and one voice to ignite change, and we have to be willing to be brave and courageous to do what is right.  Whatever that means for you. This industry is an amazing industry. But we are all human. And all humans are not perfect, so they need to be held accountable. I support you, and you have an ear to listen from me anytime you need.

Julie Brin Thetford thank you, me too . I'm here for you!

From my experience, HR is never there to protect the employee, just the company.I know of some extremely serious violations and HR from many companies and the leaders of those companies just ignored it and instead made it so difficult for the complainants that they had to quit.

Brittani Gutierrez agree ,they are suppose to be for all.

I’m glad you shared this post. Everything you mentioned is the reason why I left the industry last year around this time. Until the culture changes, it’s going to be a stressful nightmare for people who actually love what they do

Ande Dub Neesh I absolutely love the industry. Just not some of the people. Your 100% right.

Your rant is spot on!

It is getting much worse!

It took me years to see this very behavior for what it is because it makes no sense. One day it clicked for me: 1) Everything we do in the office and even our locations are recorded and documented with the very software and time tracking software the companies pay millions of dollars for. Even our speaking is recorded by google, on any device close enough to catch it. You likely have things in your possession that have recorded conversations and you weren’t doing it on purpose or even aware. Google will do this until specifically told not to via the settings and any data recorded has to be deleted. There’s no difficulty proving these complaints and companies feign ignorance. I’m all about a company not micromanaging and trying to “stay out” of things to maintain plausible deniability but when it gets to an obvious point, they’re hurting people and just trying to “pull one over.” 2) HR is for the benefit of the company and not you. It’s so known for being ineffective that savvy companies are replacing it with “PeopleOps.”3) Document. Say nothing. Talk to no one. Get a lawyer. The company will be compelled to share all of the data. Watching failures like this is exactly like watching “Abducted in Plain Sight,” if you imagine the parents from that documentary are the inept or corrupt businesses.

Andrea Pearce I see that too. Sucks

Sorry, some people don't want drama. Easier to eliminate trouble than solve real problems.I am NOT advocating supporting that idea. That is just how some humans operate.

Mike Powers if they don't WANT drama then THEY shouldn't BE drama . I get what you're saying though. The higher the salary, the more expensive the attrition cost.

Kristina Janis there are way too many high level leaders who cannot handle controversy, disagreement, the odd nuances of human existence. They want compliance, fake happiness, everybody believes the same things....and life isn't that simple....and they freak out when any disagreements arise.

Kristina Janis sorry, senior isn't ageism...it is authority level...I will edit post.

The reality is that sometimes they don’t and it is honestly up to you how far to go. It is also about your overall health.

Tamara Sanchez true but sad.

Kristina Janis yesterday or is it today. Yesterday I finished a 23 page report to report everything right. I was let go. Even for volunteering and canvassing after hours. All this nonsensical stuff. Each household was labeled Household A, B, C. I chose to pause at Y and then to tell my story. I fought for my residents, I was written up for reporting someone to HR and I requested this. I never received it. I am okay now because sometimes we think we can’t. But the little engine could? Let me know if you need any help. I feel so relieved now.

You have given me the courage to share my story here. It has helped me evaluate my situation and it feels better to know I am not alone.

I’ve been at a company like this, too, and I’ve never experienced that kind of workplace before or since then. It was abusive and mentally and emotionally damaging. Thankfully the company I went to next had an HR department that listened and took appropriate action when the staff brought complaints to them. A formal investigation was done and the issue was handled. All to say…start getting your resume out there. No one should have to deal with this toxic behavior from employers. This industry needs good people so badly, I’m sure you can find a new spot.

I lived this for almost 13 years. It sucked. But I knew my purpose was taking care of people - my co-workers and my residents. My mentor, who is an Equal Opportunity officer, actually taught me that the way I (and the other associates in my organization) was being treated by my regional director was NOT OK. There are reasons that laws are in place - to protect employees from discrimination, work place bullying, harassment, and retaliation. I can say - I felt like an idiot realizing it - but I didn’t even think about it like that. I worked the system and kept at it. FINALLY, it changed. I can say I used patience and discernment of when and hope much to challenge. Again, FINALLY, it changed. They say “leaders teach you how to be and how to NOT be.” I can say that I have learned from both and, now that I’m in a position to make a difference for my residents and associates, I try my best to do that every day and create a positive culture where people enjoy coming to work and residents appreciate being part of. Some days I have to have hard conversations and make tough decisions; but I live by the motto - Do things right and do right things. We are taught to treat everyone the same. We are taught the business need comes first. But, Dealing with people is emotional. Housing issues are emotional. Associate issues are emotional. We are charged to add the logic to emotional situations and if you take care of people, the rest falls into place. Document. Document. Document. Dig in. Research. And know/understand the equal opportunity laws. And, if anyone is in the Dayton, Ohio area and wants to work for a GREAT company and with a GREAT group of people who are like family, let me know. We are looking for you!

Tonya Boggs Patrick I wish, I work with someone like you!

I left this field that I love for past almost 10 years, all because of last company.Common courtesy, morale, loyalty are all gone in management companies. It's about bottom line or nepotism in my case.But going from experienced manager, software knowledge, 2023 HTC trained, fired so new VPs family friends neice could not be bartender any longer. Heck I still get calls from local fire, PD and fire alarm companies and so many residents begging for help because new staff won't or can't help, answer calls, etc. I feel bad but I've had to step away and in small town that's hard to do as well!!

K Kreymer l'm sorry!

This post. 1000% why, after 25 years, I have stepped away from this industry. I really loved being onsite and I miss it but at the end of the day, my physical and mental health were just too important. It's unfortunate because I don't remember the industry being like this even 10 years ago...

Aleisha Parongao I agree! It used to be way different.

People leave people. Not companies!

Charity Zierten amen

I had to leave a company after I was attacked by a random person in my office in November and then in December a resident started stalking me and sending me death threats. All I could get them to do was post day time security until I could get him evicted. My peace of mind & safety meant too much. My Regional, who was brand new wanted me to stay (& she’s amazing), but the people above didn’t even care or fight for me.

Sheila Singer I'm sorry love! Know your worth. You will find something .

Kristina Janis already have, new company, a promotion AND peace of mind = priceless!

Seems to be the standard and totally acceptable these days. Frustrating to watch.

We have all had toxic managers or other team members that we have been forced to work with because we either did not have another opportunity or outside of that one employee; the place was great! Sometimes it can make a great place become less desirable to go to everyday and make you think about quitting. What’s even worse is when that boss is singling you out; treats other better, etc—they make you think, “is it me; what am I doing to make them act so awful to me,”? Narcissism unfortunately is a thing in upper management — I don’t know why, but it is there. My best suggestion is to ask that manager if you can have a meeting with them and maybe their assistant or regional, someone they trust and have a conversation that places no blame on either of you but puts the feeling and emotions on the table. Give examples and how it made you feel and ask why it occurred. Ask questions to seek to understand not blame. Then ask for ideas or tools to help resolve the issues. This conversation must have a witness and you must sent it to the regional if they are not present. This shows the regional you are trying to fix the problems. If they persist— you have documentation of when things when wrong and how you tried to work with the manager to resolve them and their unacceptable behavior

As a Vendor in Multifamily we are abused by 90% of the management teams.
The lack of Morales, Character, Business etiquette... and the list goes on is mind blowing.

As a Vendor in Multifamily we are abused by 90% of the management teams.
The lack of Morales, Character, Business etiquette... and the list goes on is mind blowing.